Ana,
If I could give you anything for Christmas, I’d give you you
right now, your happiness, enthusiasm, and innocence all bottled up and
protected forever. You are funny and sweet and so kind. Everything is good. You
have lots of friends, you have confidence in multitudes, and you are so so
innocent. But you are changing. You are growing up and asking hard questions, ones
I have no idea how to answer. You are learning that the world is not always as wonderful
as it is in your house, and you are starting to care what others think of your
look. I’m really worried this might be
the last Christmas where we have the magic of your belief in Elfred and Santa.
Elfred is far and away your favorite part of Christmas. The night he arrived
you made him a lovely home and one for Elfis too. You leap out of bed every
morning dying to see where the elves moved to overnight. You write them the
sweetest notes, give them food, drawings, and gifts. But the cogs are at work,
and you are starting to have questions. My heart will break when this gig is up.
I thought I had blown it last night. I moved the elves when I thought you were
in bed and you went back into the bathroom one more time. You walked back out
very quiet, with a pensive look on your face. My heart sank. If I can be
coherent enough when you finally figure it out I will tell you this; I will tell
you that I am Elfred, I am Santa, I am the one that watches over you, the one
who leaves notes and gifts to make you smile, the one who watches you sleep and
strokes your face in the night. I am the one who loves you to the ends of the
earth and always will. I’ll be your Elfred forever.
Lest I worry how you will handle the transition, you've already shown me you are ready. The other
day there was a gift for you on the tree (from Elfred) but nothing for Isaac.
Even though your brother makes annoying you his full time job, your face fell
and you were immediately worried about him. You quickly diverted his attention
and grabbed a pseudo gift for him, then with wide eyed wonder you exclaimed “Look Isaac,
here is your gift from Elfis”. Isaac's face lit up and I could not have been more proud of you. You
get it. You are his Elfis.
